A day I dont want to remember.

I woke up one in the morning to be on myspace and talk to my peoples on aim and msn. I know it sounds really lame, but I couldn't fall asleep. My conversations went on -- and it doesn't end well. How am i feeling? Well, I'm not mad... I'm just sick && tired. I'm sick of crying over spilt milk, I'm tired of not expecting the unexpected. I put my hopes so high, so I can see it crash all down. I didn't want anyone to cheer me up, I didn't want to laugh or smile. I just wanted someone to listen to me, and let me cry. Let me be.

My friend Bat, that I barely met a couple months ago helped me out. He was listening when I just complained and whined. He related to me, so I can understand what's happening. He told me I was blindsighted. He showed me what I couldn't see. He made me look at it as an opportunity to learn. It's not because I liked the attention that someone was listening to me, when no one else was there. It's the fact that I have the trust in him to keep this, and respect what I have to say. Does he care -- well i believe yes. It's not because he didn't leave when i poured my heart out, it's not because he was there when no one else was there to listen to me, it's because he knows how I feel. You can't relate to a person until you have experienced the same thing.

On the other hand Leo helped me with another situation. The situation of looking at someone, when I thought it was something more. I couldn't figure out myself; but it shows that I just missed that person who was always there to fix and broken heart. He made me understand that; and well... I took his word for it. But last night was the night I just wanted to hold that other persons hand and hear his voice say again that "everything will be alright", he never backed down on saying that.

I spent my day with only three hours of sleep, waking up in the morning crying and sleeping with tears running down my face. So I start blogging on blogspot with something that impacts me so much. Let's call this the learning experience. What I learned is not everyone is what you expect to be, and listen to what others have to say -- cause most of the time... they're right. They see what you can't see. It sucks when it's too late. People have wants and needs; and when you don't meet their expectations... it doesn't cut it for them. And this shows once again -- i'm not good enough. But it shows; that i deserve better. So here's my first blog, now you know more about me, CONGRATS. i guess.